I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Enjoy the penises
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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