from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
