Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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