shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
