I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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