I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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