Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize