so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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