When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
