My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize