just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
