lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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