All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Mom said you looked used
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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