i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
