Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
