he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
