My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if i died would you start the facebook group?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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