Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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