HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
