The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
