That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
