On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
