no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
