dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
