living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
