I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
