I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
