He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize