Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
