my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
