Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
