I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
