I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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