seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize