we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
