I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
