marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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