Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
