Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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