The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
