You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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