I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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