it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think my fart just growled at me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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