Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
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I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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