Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
