I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize