Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have so many feelings about this burrito
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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