I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
