You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
