The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
