Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina

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  (215): omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina http://tfl.nu/buf1
  Replies (56) Good night (6497) Bad night (2247)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

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  (832): I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week. http://tfl.nu/ubxf
  Replies (69) Good night (658) Bad night (4747)
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  (209): View more from California

  I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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  (209): I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car. http://tfl.nu/v5pu
  Replies (31) Good night (1264) Bad night (7682)
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  (925): View more from California

  Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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  (925): Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed http://tfl.nu/cgjz
  Replies (8) Good night (3840) Bad night (769)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.

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  (330): theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles. http://tfl.nu/gk69
  Replies (29) Good night (6863) Bad night (1110)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.

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  (618): So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me. http://tfl.nu/3nre
  Replies (4) Good night (2365) Bad night (746)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.

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  (208): Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids. http://tfl.nu/l7h3
  Replies (19) Good night (4015) Bad night (1178)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1161) Bad night (561)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.

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  (978): we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on. http://tfl.nu/cjzk
  Replies (4) Good night (3326) Bad night (682)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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  (256): Just make sure my intervention has a theme... http://tfl.nu/wrxo
  Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (525)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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  (651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (760)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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  (330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6
  Replies (15) Good night (2621) Bad night (432)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So did he inherit the massive family cock?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  :(

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  (317): So did he inherit the massive family cock? (1-317): :( http://tfl.nu/a8a5
  Replies (9) Good night (574) Bad night (2151)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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  (+44): you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home? http://tfl.nu/3r4f
  Replies (6) Good night (1277) Bad night (362)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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  (503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (211)

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