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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "

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• (801): View more from Utah

  If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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• (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'

  (661): View more from California

  The cougar kind?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.

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