Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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  (914): Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business? http://tfl.nu/3lau
  Replies (36) Good night (726) Bad night (959)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.

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  (203): Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess. http://tfl.nu/gcqa
  Replies (24) Good night (668) Bad night (2749)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

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  (305): nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex. http://tfl.nu/huzf
  Replies (6) Good night (1526) Bad night (4365)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.

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  (813): He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys. http://tfl.nu/u6q3
  Replies (16) Good night (835) Bad night (4268)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

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  (605): I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other http://tfl.nu/boea
  Replies (24) Good night (5715) Bad night (1699)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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  (864): I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me? http://tfl.nu/6foj
  Replies (4) Good night (4539) Bad night (1004)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

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  (+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a
  Replies (5) Good night (2693) Bad night (1297)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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  (907): I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on.... http://tfl.nu/kmcf
  Replies (10) Good night (1390) Bad night (918)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Keep it.

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  (419): I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate... (567): Keep it. http://tfl.nu/x8n2
  Replies (0) Good night (1054) Bad night (522)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

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  (970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg
  Replies (13) Good night (2689) Bad night (688)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (881) Bad night (308)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.

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  (727): A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you. (1-727): His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me. http://tfl.nu/a0hl
  Replies (3) Good night (1422) Bad night (313)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

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  (503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (319)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.

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  (785): So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck. http://tfl.nu/iki8
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (363)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.

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  (602): He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper. http://tfl.nu/wbxd
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (245)

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