ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
honey bunches of taint.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.