Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.