his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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