I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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