The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
