Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize