My sheets look like a crime scene.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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