fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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