my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
