It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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