then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I said "one day" and that day is not today
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
ok first of all what the fuck
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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