I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
