so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize